whats wrong with this prologue?

i post my story on fictionpress, and when i check my stats page i have like 120 hits on the prologue but only 40 for the first chapter, and the hits gets smaller and smaller with every chapter. For starters, could you tell me whats wrong with this prologue?
————-
April 7, 1485. Toulouse, France.
The street lay empty. The men sat in their favorite tavern, gambling away their earnings, or spending it on their favorite courtesan in the local brothel while their wives lay abed with the children in their cozy warm beds. The moon, along with the outside candles of surrounding houses was all that lit the dark, dreary night. A foul stench of men‘s piss filled the air while even a person with the sharpest tuned ears could hear not a soul in the night except perhaps the hooting of a lonely owl, pining for an absent mate. Wickedness ruled the air tonight.
The trees swayed softly above him in a light wind, messing his sweat glistened hair. His movements went unseen; his eyes darted from side to side: careful… patient… deadly. Curls fell in front of his face, shielding the few passersby from his lethal expression. No one noticed the dark red splotches staining his clothes from his arms down, marred throughout the black fabric of his once pristine doublet. His hands shivered. The blood of his victim clung to his fingers like sweat to a well-exercised body.
He did not want to think of her, lying crumpled on the floor, unconscious and possibly lifeless. He did not mean to hurt her, but it was her fault. Every damn thing was that bitch’s fault. Images of her pretty face drifted into his imagination. Her touch still clung to him desperately. Her soul piercing screams reverberated in his memory. The smell of her blood still tickled his nose. He still tasted the bitterness of the word he had spat at her, “whore”. The overwhelming senses were enough to make his body vibrate. He loved her, and she betrayed him.

B&A: Your take on a classic fiction exercise?

For those of you who don’t know, John Gardner is, among other things, the author of what is generally considered the Bible of writing manuals: The Art of Fiction. He includes a series of exercises that he generally considers a sort of benchmark– if you can accomplish them, you’ve learned the basics of fiction-writing. If you’re struggling, they’re excellent tools to figure out where to improve. So let’s see what you’ve got! Ten points to the best interpretation of this exercise:

A middle-age man is waiting at a bus stop. He has just learned that his son has died violently. Describe the setting from the man’s point of view WITHOUT telling your reader what has happened. How will the street look to this man? What are the sounds? Odors? Colors? That this man will notice? What will his clothes feel like? Write a 250 word description.

Does his aspergers syndrome make him so paranoid? Need some help?

Here is a list of the things he’s paranoid about:

*Supermarkets. His opinion is that it’s all “Mass media produced crap” He said the air in the supermarket is so filled with chemicals that it burns his throat. He says ‘everything’ in the supermarket is unhealthy, even the fruit and vegetables. Apparently they’re not ‘organic’ enough.

* Watching TV: He says the adds on TV pollute our minds, and the TV shows are never based on reality. Even the ones that claim to be. He says all the acting is terrible, and when I watch TV, he mutes the adds, and takes me out of the room. In order to avoid the “Mass media produced items on TV”.

*Using chemicals: This would include – Makeup, hair products, cleaning products, face products, bath products, candles (unless organic), incense (unless organic), creams/lotions, things to help muscular pain, any kind of healing creams, and anything else with any ingredients that aren’t ‘all natural’.

*Having any chemicals in the house: According to him, because I have face cream, makeup, and nail polish in my room, the air is polluted. He also says the laundry is polluted, and the kitchen. He is against washing dishes, or clothes. He says it’s unhealthy, and not natural. Apparently he is still searching for all natural cleaning things. He says 90% of the natural cleaning products are fakes.

*Spending time with people who use chemicals: He only talks to people who are ‘totally’ natural. The only people I’ve met who are ‘totally’ natural, would be his parents. His mother doesn’t shower, and has never cleaned. Her house made me vomit.

*Showering: He says It’s ‘un natural’ to shower more than once a week. He only showers when he really ‘needs’ to, because of the ‘chemicals’ in the water. He makes exceptions for rivers though.

*Not exercising enough: His ambition is to exercise 7 hours a day, non stop. He’s obsessed with it, and never stops.

*Dust particles in the air: He says my house has dust particles which clog up his throat. He complains about it continuously.

*Hair particles in the air: He says it’s from my dog, and her hair goes in his throat.

*Any kind of vehicle: He only walks, or rides his push bike.

*Getting a job: He is against it, and never wants to work. He says it’s unhealthy. He doesn’t want to be like other people.

*Getting educated: He is also against this. He says the education system is ‘stupid’ and corrupted. He has never studied for anything.

There are other small things, like not liking it when I do anything with my appearance. To paint a picture of him, he’s a fairly short, thin man. Has an arabic/indian like appearance. Scurries like a mouse when he walks, sways his arm when he walks, and looks like he’s gay. He has a big over sized back pack, that most likely weighs more than him. He also carries several other bags, and wears dorky plastic shoes, high waisted shorts, and often strange looking tops. He is also often seen wearing big strange hats. He spends him time collecting rubbish, hunting for garage sales, plucking hairs from his legs, being ‘healthy’, and looking for money on the streets. He likes to live the ‘alternative’ lifestyle. In his back pack he has everything from a first aid kit, to a swag.

Do my question is, why is he so paranoid?
Is it because of his aspergers?
*SO my question is.

Advice on getting rid of depression and staying motivated with weight loss.?

I was always a little heavy growing up, but once I got out of high school I lost 40 lbs living with my boyfriend who was a vegan cook. We broke up and for the past 2 years I’ve been in an awesome relationship with a really wonderful man…who before me was a bachelor and eats whatever he wants. Since then I’ve experimented with things, I smoked pot for about a year straight, and I also started drinking a lot of alcohol. It wasn’t anything serious, it was just to party, and enjoy my new independent adult life, for a few months now I’ve been almost totally straight edge. Well, obviously it caught up with me and I have almost gained all of my weight back. Sometimes it makes me panic to think about. I was so much happier when I was thinner! But now I feel overwhelmed with how much work I will have to do to lose the weight again. My boyfriend loves me and tells me he thinks I am curvey like Venus (lol *eye roll*) but I can’t get over my own self esteem issues and insecurities. I’ve grown out of half of my clothes, and I just feel like complete sh*t. I eat healthy as much as possible, I enjoy cooking healthy foods and I especially like vegitarian Indian food and Japanese cuisine, my friends tell me I should be a twig based on what I eat, but I also have a condition called PCOS which makes weight loss hard…Also it’s hard to eat healthy all the time living with a man who loves hot dogs, meat, cheese and the Mcdonalds dollar menu. Plus, I enjoy being able to eat freely myself. I guess there are a lot of underlying emotional aspects to the food I eat and my weight gain as well…but my whole point is that I don’t know where to start. I get so depressed about this some times…and I really don’t have anyone to talk to about it. I feel like a broken record everytime I discuss it with my boyfriend because he always tells me I am gorgeous and that I should just diet and exercise, but it’s just not that easy for me. Any advice?..I’m 5’5″ and pushing 160lbs. Even advice on how I can stop hating my body and love myself enough to stay motivated to lose the weight would help. Thank you, everyone! This community has given me great answers so far.

Paypal .?

FAQs section for Paypal

Ive just had my account frozen without a good reason, with $45,000 in it,
what should I do ?

Tough luck mate, just write it off and use bidpay in future. Completing the steps as we ask, will just be a fruitless and futile exercise.

OH BY THE WAY BEFORE WE CONTINUE

(As yahoo keeps suspending my account for posting this, please feel feel free to copy and paste this on yahoo answers as many times as you want,
YAHOO JUST LOVES IT WHEN THE CAT GETS OUT THE BAG LIKE THIS
just sign up for another free email account with yahoo, log onto yahoo answers and keep posting when youve nothing better to do in your spare time, this way we spread the word and keep it spreading word, when you get suspended, just open another account and do it again, if were all doing it, this message will always be there for people to see)

But Im a frial old man with 3 months to live, I just want the money to leave to my little grandson.

Tell him to get down that local labour exchange and get a job humping bricks all day, if he needs money.

I need the money to feed and clothe my little 6 year old daugher

Pimp her out for $20 a go, to the first guy in an old anorak coming out the bookies, with an old dog end in his mouth and his winnings, especially if he comes up and offers her sweets or says ” ere darlin haw abaut it then” Then tell her shes got money and to go and buy her own bloody food and clothes.

You claim to be the worlds online leader in online payment processing, yet all this ?????

Hitler was the leader of Germany and the Nazi Party, Saddam Hussein was leader of Iraq and its people, by the same token, were leader of online payments. That doesnt mean in any way that this will work to your benefit, it only means we have the power and inclination to use it to rip you off.

What about us users who only buy and are not merchants?

No problem my friend sign up we wont freeze your account, youre the people we respect and want as account holders. But dont expect the same good treatment if you start collecting money, thats for us to take from you.

Bear in mind also, that very often, if we reverse your payment to a seller, he or she will do the decent thing and refund it, offering you another way to pay if you still want the merchandise. It is standard practice for us to reverse the transaction intended back to you also so the seller loses the money and doesnt get a chance at getting payment from you another way, as a result you dont get your money back either (we get it) and the seller cant send you the goods cos he hasnt been paid. Stalemate for both parties. So all in all, its better to use bidpay or some other payment method.

What can we the public do about this terrible state of affairs ?

Its all down to strenth in union to defeat us. Given the answer to the above question regarding “Buyers” only which you may or may not have been aware of, all of you in the world, spread the word, tell all your friends, family, etc

OPEN OTHER EMAIL ACCOUNTS WITH YAHOO AND COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE ON YAHOO ANSWERS AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT, THE MORE THE MERRIER AND THE QUICKER THE WORD GETS OUT

Then all unite together by all agreeing to boycott Paypal and close your accounts and move to bidpay or other payment service. This service is now permissable on Ebay and if you all do this, Bidpay will become the worlds top payment processor and we´ll end up going bankrupt. Which would be a victory for the good, ordinary, honest everday hardworking, decent people of this planet.

LOTS OF LUV AND BIG SOPPY KISSES

THE PAYPAL TEAM

X X X X X X X X X X X X X
XXXXX X X X X X X X X X X

Good alternative mats for yoga if I get really sweaty hands and feet?

I get really really sweaty hands and feet whenever I workout (and even for no reason sometimes). I’ve tried using anti-perspirant pads on my hands and feet, but found it makes my skin too dry to the point my skin starts breaking.
So I was wondering if anyone with a similar problem who does yoga, or is a yoga expert, knows of any yoga mats/general mats that will allow me to maintain grip while doing yoga and not slip and slide.
I’ve already tried using the thick “puzzle” foam pads parents use in baby play areas, and a Nike closed-cell yoga mat (5 mm. thick), and both have not offer enough grip for my sweaty hands/feet.
I have the biggest problem when doing “downward dog” (as you can imagine), since you exert a lot of outward pressure on your hands, and without the grip, my hands slip off the mat and I fall out of position. And you can also imagine how much more difficult balance positions like “twisting” poses can be when my feet are sliding off the mat.
Any suggestions?
I forgot to add, I talked to my doctor already about my excessively sweaty hands/feet condition, and he’s hte one who prescribed the anti-perspirant pads.

Also, a sticky mat isn’t really issue (I’m pretty sure I didn’t imply sticky mat as a problem?)…it’s the fact that I have sweaty hands and feet, and thus can’t get a good grip on the mat, and instead slip and slide during yoga because of the sweatiness.

What do you think of the yoga mats at Old Navy?

I’m starting to dabble in yoga and I don’t want to spend a lot of money on it because most of the time I don’t finish what I start and yeah. So I was planning on buying a yoga mat from Old Navy but I don’t want to buy it if it isn’t good or useful or is a rip-off. Any advice or comments?

Are there good and bad yoga mats?

The missus wants a yoga mat for Christmas. Not surprisingly I know nothing about such commodities.

Can you get good or bad yoga mats, or are they all basically the same? If the former, can anyone recommend a really good one. The missus is at intermediate level, if that makes any difference.

Where can I find cheap yoga mats?

Hey okay I really need to buy 3 yoga mats preferably in the colors red blue and lime green but its okay if there not that color. Since I’m buying three I reallyy need them to be cheap 5$ or more. and just so u know i don’t have a walmart near me and ive checked cvs rite aid and dixs sporting goods. ik this is hard but i just need them to b cheap that’s my biggest concern. Thanks!

Home made aromatherapy cleansing spray for yoga mats?

I had found the directions for making these a few months ago, but my computer died and I lost my bookmarks and now I can not find it. Does anyone know where I can find directions, or the directions themselves? Thanks in advance.

Is this a good workout for a 13 year old boy?

I’m about 5″8, 5″ 9, weight around 145, I know I’m getting a little chubby, clothes getting a snug, stuff like that. Anyways recently my family signed up at the gym and we go there almost everyday, cause of the pool and excerise machines. Almost everyday i work out and this is what a do:
1) Treadmill-30 minutes, around 300 calories burned
2)Elliptcal-20 minutes, around 200 calories burned
3)another elliptcal-like machine but different, ( i don’t know its name) 15 minutes, around 150 calories burned
4) then I go workout, like weight training, I focus on abs, arms( mainly arms, chest and legs

I think my problem is I getting a little belly, and my glutes, big problem,

if you could put some feedback I’ld really appreicate it

BTW, my plan is to be 120 pounds by the end of the summer around 8 weeks and phyisllcaly fit
Will doing this cause one of those growth stunts or whatever happen, I really don’t wanna be short of the rest of my life cause I want to be heatly at a young age

What would a good workout regiment be?

I’m 6’2, 230, 21 y.o male, I don’t look it with clothes on, but i’m pretty fat and out of shape.. mostly my chest and stomach is all flab =/ I’m unable to get to the gym so i’m forced to workout at home with NO equipment. I’m just doing push-ups and sit-ups at the moment (haven’t started running yet, too much snow lol).. I just started a few days ago and have to push myself to do 20 of either one in a clip.. pretty sad i know. I wanna be in good shape for summer like the rest of us do.. so I guess my question is what should i eat/avoid besides the obvious stuff like beer/soda and cookies. and what should i add/scrap to my routine? If you can write out a little schedule for week to week or something I would love you forever =D Thanks in advance.

Is this a good workout routine?

I will just tell u my routine of my everyday life because it will be a whole lot simpler. Well this isnt my everyday life yet..like my future. This is my new and imporved workout

9:45 – I try to wake up at this time, i walk around opem blinds and feed the pets that are in my room.

10:00 – i am normally getting ready for the day, washing my face getting gym clothes on ect.

10:30 – i try to be down staris and eating breakfast at this time

11:00 – i watch some tv and strech

12:00 – tajke my dog on a walk, fast pase and around 30 minutes

1:00 – i go strectch and then go on my tredmil and take about a 30 minute run keeping a pace of 5.5

1 :30 – to cool down from my run i try doing some push ups and sit ups. and get some weights in too.

2:00 – i go to the neighborhood park with my sisters and brothers and dog. we play football, soccer, and catch.

3:00 – We are useally back from the park by this time and when we get home my mom has sandwhiches ready for all of us

3:30 – i like to take a nap mat this time, with my two little sisters (3 years old)

4:15 – im awake from my nap and so are the other kids and i take them outside to pounce on the trapoline, (harley comes too)

5 :00 – we are all back inside and we are normally reading books or playing games

5:45 – i go back on the tredmil and take a 30 minte low and easy jog. ( i do 20 min jog, 5 min walk, and then cool down)

7:00 – i sometimes start cooking dinner, or my mom does. if my mom is i take my whole family on a walk with my dog.

7:45 – i try to be home by this time and then we all set the table and do the rest of our chores

8:00 – eating dinner

8:45 – cleaning up and do the rest of my chores

9:30 – i watch tv and do a bunce of situps and push ups

10:30 – Go upstaris and take my shower, and get in my pjs. ( also tuck all kids 10 and younger into bed )

11:30 – strectch and text, also tuck kids 10 – 13 into bed

12:00 – playing mario racer with my brothers

12:30 – The 13 – 15 goes to bed

1:00 – i have to go to bed. but i normally text and playing around

1:30 – i hear the rest of the family heading up to bed and i get in bed and i try to fall asleep

this rountine is only for summer! this is going to change A LOT

Where to get Catholic School Clothes?

I’m going to a Catholic High School next year and I need to know what clothes to get. It has a pretty strict dress code, but when I shadowed a student there, it seemed like no one followed the dress code there.
Here is the dress code:
Standard School Dress Code for Girls

ShirtsDress or tailored casual full-buttoning blouses that do not reveal cleavage. No undergarments or lace may be visible. Camis may be worn under blouses, but should be the same color as the blouse, so they are not seen. Shirts may be long or short-sleeved. Shirts must be tucked in at all times, even when student’s arms are raised completely over the head.No advertisements, slogans or logos except for small trademark logos. No type of collarless shirt or blouse. No sheer materials. Only sweaters, vests or blazers may be worn over shirts or blouses. No tank tops, spaghetti strap shirts, cap sleeves or sleeveless shirts are permitted over your blouse.

Sweaters/JacketsAny style or color sweater – meaning it is knitted – (except for turtlenecks or cowl neck sweaters) may be worn over a collared blouse or turtleneck. Shirt collar must be visible. Any style or color dress/suit jacket may be worn.No sweaters with hoods, fleeces or cowl-neck sweaters. No sweaters may be worn as a top without a collared shirt or turtleneck underneath. No sweatshirts may be worn on school days. No jean, jean look-alikes, or riveted jackets may be worn. No turtleneck over a button-down or over another sweater.

Pants/SlacksDress-style slacks with a belt (if pants have belt loops). Belts must not have highly decorative buckles nor be adorned with metal or metal-like materials. Pants must be worn at the waist, sufficiently high that shirts remain tucked in, even when hands are raised completely above the head.No jeans or jean look-a-likes. No pants of denim or denim-look, acid washed, bleached material and/or pants with pockets or compartments sewn on the outside of the main material portion of the pants and/or pants with rivets of any kind and/or pants with stitching a distinctly different color or shade from the color of the pants. No sweatpants, workout pants or stretch slacks or tight-fitting pants of any kind.

Skirts/Dresses
Must be in good taste, appropriate style and fabric and at least knee-length. Dresses must be appropriate to the spirit of the dress code.
Skirts/dresses must follow the material guidelines for pants/slacks above. Cap-sleeved, sleeveless or strapless dresses are not permitted.

ShoesDress shoes made of leather or leather look-alike casual shoes. Toes and heels must be enclosed.No boots of any kind. Shoes must leave the ankle visible. No canvas shoes, athletic shoes, or athletic shoe look-a-likes or bowling shoes. No sandals, clogs or other open toe/heel shoes. No high-heeled shoes.

SocksSocks must be worn at all times and must cover the entire ankle. Socks, if worn with skirts or dresses, will extend no higher than the bottom of the knee.No footies or socks which do not cover the ankle.

Cold Weather ExceptionGirl may wear a turtleneck under a suitable sweater or tucked in, under a suit jacket.No turtlenecks over a button-down or over another sweater. No turtleneck is to be worn alone.

Warm Weather Exception (Aug./Sep. & May/Jun.)
Girls may wear appropriate collared polo/golf shirts, which must remain tucked in to slacks.
No advertisements, logos or slogans except for small trademark logos.

Last year at my public middle school, I wore abercrombie everything. Alot of my friends would call me moose because thats the abercrombie logo sign. But bow that I can’t wear most of that stuff, I don’t know where to look for clothes. If you have any suggestions for clothes stores or just individual items I would appreciate it!!

P.S. We dont wear the school uniforms there, just like the slacks and collared shirts but IDK what to wear because the kids there when I shadowed wore slacks with a hoodie, but I dont know where to get tasteful clothes that will blend with what other people are weariong?

Gaining weight & working out and Clothes & style?

Well I’m turning 20 on August 2nd and I have a nice body for my size been workout often, sometimes I take protein shakes but I eat all the time. Don’t really like the supplements. I only weigh about 120 I want to be around 150-170 Mostly all muscle mass Have the six pack already but I just want to look bigger.

Please help

Ladies or anybody with taste in fashion I need help! ha ha I’m not that great at this whole clothing thing. I want you to pick out some hot sexy clothes that look good on me… I Went to pacsun.com and spent $160 and then I went to Buckle.com spent another $200 but any other stores you know of or matching clothes you want to show me. I’d appreciate it ^_^

Is this a half-decent attempt at the opening of my novel?

Its about teenage assassins who fall in love. This is only part 1, introducing the main narrator, Ana, as a child. the second and third parts are of her as a teenager. Don’t worry, the almost-mary-sue Endra doesn’t appear much after this. and i don’t usually write in third person, so i apologise if this is a bit crap

The time of year was unseasonably warm for the city of Pallaidia. The winter’s snow usually fell like grey bricks on the aged buildings, coating them with rat-grey ice, until the spring thaw let them emerge, sometimes as completely new buildings. The Lord’s Houses and the Palace were the only buildings that ever stayed uncovered by the snow, due to the toil of thousands of servants. This was the time of year the vagrants of the city, who almost outnumbered those with secure homes, sought shelter in abandoned buildings, in porches or under bridges. That was why the bench in the Great Garden was unoccupied; save for a small brownish lump, which on closer inspection was a child. That was also how the Guild of Assassins found its newest neophyte.
Two figures cloaked in shadow sat on another bench, conversing in whispers.
“The child obviously has nowhere to go,” hissed a young, female voice.
“We cannot risk another spy, Endra,” whispered a deeper voice.
“Would they go as far as to plant a child out here? They must know we don’t usually pick up vagrants. They know we know they are often untrustworthy,” she murmured.
“Fine. If it’s a spy, we kill it. If it’s a vagrant child, we take ‘em to the Guildmaster. Deal?” he muttered, obviously tired of the short argument.
“I know how much you hate being wrong, don’t I? What else is it worth?”
“Two gold coins?”
“Three.”
“You’re pushing it,” he growled.
“Two and fifty silver?”
“Done,”
The pair made their way to the other bench. The first, female voice belonged to a tall, willowy figure. Her gold hair shone like the sun in the soft lamplight. It was hard to make out her face in the dim light, but she was obviously very pretty, a tool she had used many a time in combat. Her tight clothes displayed her young body, tensile from years of battle, but also showcased the set of throwing daggers at her waist, and the tattoo on her wrist marked her as a senior assassin of the Guild. She probably had a hundred weapons concealed about her body.
The other figure, the man, was not quite as tall as his female companion. He had a thicker, fatherly body, rounded from years of good meals and not quite enough exercise, and was mostly concealed in a long, brown leather coat. He wore a hat, probably to disguise his balding head. His footsteps pounded on the yellowed winter grass. He took his hat off as they neared the bench.
“’’Scuse me, child. Mind if I ask what you’re doing out here at this time o’ night?” The man said. He was the talker, and the woman was his backup. The subtle and the actors got far in the Guild, not just the fighters.
The child didn’t as much as stir.
“Is it still alive?” pondered the woman.
“Hush, Endra, I think its breathing.” He laid his hand on the brown form. “Little one? Sweetie, it ain’t safe for kids around here,” That seemed to have more effect. The brown bundle squirmed a little, and then pushed itself up to sit facing Endra and the man.
“Sweet Gods,” swore Endra. The child had four circles cut into the skin of its right cheek. Even in the dark they were visibly deep. Its hair was plastered with blood to its forehead and neck, so there were probably more cuts in the hairline. The child was perfectly androgynous.
“I’m Nelkar and this is Endra. We’re here to help you, take you somewhere safe. Would you like that, huh?” the man spoke softly. The child nodded, a little hesitant, and afraid they were going to hurt them more. Nelkar stretched out his arms, and the child seemed more than happy to fall forwards into them. It hadn’t seen much love in its few short years. “We’re going to the Assassin’s Guild. Do you know what that is?” asked Nelkar. The child shook its head.
“Ha, you owe me two and half gold!” cheered Endra. The child shrunk back at the shouting, snuggling down into Nelkar’s arms.
“Shut up, Endra. I’ll pay you when we get back, just shut up.” He kept his voice low, but not menacingly so. The child weighed almost nothing in his arms. “Let’s go.”
And so they set off towards the Guild House, down the uneven cobbled roads. They walked slowly; the stones were freezing over and they didn’t want to disturb the child, who had fallen asleep in Nelkar’s arms. He was glad it was there, since the weather was cooling as the small hours crept up and the moon rose eerily.
The streets of Pallaidia wound like snakes through the underbelly of the city, only straightening out and well maintained near the centre, where all the Lord Houses were, leading to the Palace at the centre of town. The assassins were glad of the chaotic layout though, it made for better escapes and better secret places for the Guildhouse, which was changed ev
I wrote this today.
(For Lana T. : its about 2 female teenage assassins who fall in love. I got my inspiration from a picture I found on the internet, and my mind kinda pieced it together over night. I wrote a bit of a sample chapter late last night, but I started writing it properly today)

Is this a decent start of a novel?

I don’t often write in third person, so sorry if its about crap. this introduces the main character, Ana (the child), who then narrates parts 2 and 3. Don’t worry, Endra doesn’t feature much.

The time of year was unseasonably warm for the city of Pallaidia. The winter’s snow usually fell like grey bricks on the aged buildings, coating them with rat-grey ice, until the spring thaw let them emerge, sometimes as completely new buildings. The Lord’s Houses and the Palace were the only buildings that ever stayed uncovered by the snow, due to the toil of thousands of servants. This was the time of year the vagrants of the city, who almost outnumbered those with secure homes, sought shelter in abandoned buildings, in porches or under bridges. That was why the bench in the Great Garden was unoccupied; save for a small brownish lump, which on closer inspection was a child. That was also how the Guild of Assassins found its newest neophyte.
Two figures cloaked in shadow sat on another bench, conversing in whispers.
“The child obviously has nowhere to go,” hissed a young, female voice.
“We cannot risk another spy, Endra,” whispered a deeper voice.
“Would they go as far as to plant a child out here? They must know we don’t usually pick up vagrants. They know we know they are often untrustworthy,” she murmured.
“Fine. If it’s a spy, we kill it. If it’s a vagrant child, we take ‘em to the Guildmaster. Deal?” he muttered, obviously tired of the short argument.
“I know how much you hate being wrong, don’t I? What else is it worth?”
“Two gold coins?”
“Three.”
“You’re pushing it,” he growled.
“Two and fifty silver?”
“Done,”
The pair made their way to the other bench. The first, female voice belonged to a tall, willowy figure. Her gold hair shone like the sun in the soft lamplight. It was hard to make out her face in the dim light, but she was obviously very pretty, a tool she had used many a time in combat. Her tight clothes displayed her young body, tensile from years of battle, but also showcased the set of throwing daggers at her waist, and the tattoo on her wrist marked her as a senior assassin of the Guild. She probably had a hundred weapons concealed about her body.
The other figure, the man, was not quite as tall as his female companion. He had a thicker, fatherly body, rounded from years of good meals and not quite enough exercise, and was mostly concealed in a long, brown leather coat. He wore a hat, probably to disguise his balding head. His footsteps pounded on the yellowed winter grass. He took his hat off as they neared the bench.
“’’Scuse me, child. Mind if I ask what you’re doing out here at this time o’ night?” The man said. He was the talker, and the woman was his backup. The subtle and the actors got far in the Guild, not just the fighters.
The child didn’t as much as stir.
“Is it still alive?” pondered the woman.
“Hush, Endra, I think its breathing.” He laid his hand on the brown form. “Little one? Sweetie, it ain’t safe for kids around here,” That seemed to have more effect. The brown bundle squirmed a little, and then pushed itself up to sit facing Endra and the man.
“Sweet Gods,” swore Endra. The child had four circles cut into the skin of its right cheek. Even in the dark they were visibly deep. Its hair was plastered with blood to its forehead and neck, so there were probably more cuts in the hairline. The child was perfectly androgynous.
“I’m Nelkar and this is Endra. We’re here to help you, take you somewhere safe. Would you like that, huh?” the man spoke softly. The child nodded, a little hesitant, and afraid they were going to hurt them more. Nelkar stretched out his arms, and the child seemed more than happy to fall forwards into them. It hadn’t seen much love in its few short years. “We’re going to the Assassin’s Guild. Do you know what that is?” asked Nelkar. The child shook its head.
“Ha, you owe me two and half gold!” cheered Endra. The child shrunk back at the shouting, snuggling down into Nelkar’s arms.
“Shut up, Endra. I’ll pay you when we get back, just shut up.” He kept his voice low, but not menacingly so. The child weighed almost nothing in his arms. “Let’s go.”
And so they set off towards the Guild House, down the uneven cobbled roads. They walked slowly; the stones were freezing over and they didn’t want to disturb the child, who had fallen asleep in Nelkar’s arms. He was glad it was there, since the weather was cooling as the small hours crept up and the moon rose eerily.
The streets of Pallaidia wound like snakes through the underbelly of the city, only straightening out and well maintained near the centre, where all the Lord Houses were, leading to the Palace at the centre of town. The assassins were glad of the chaotic layout though, it made for better escapes and better secret places for the Guildhouse, which was changed every time the seasons turned.
the point of refering to the child as ‘the child’ is not to give away what gender it is, especially since i describe it as androgynous (looks kinda like a girl and a boy)
the point of refering to the child as ‘the child’ is not to give away what gender it is, especially since i describe it as androgynous (looks kinda like a girl and a boy)

Modelling questions?? Please help!?

I’m going to be 12 soon and I recently started menstruating. I’m around 155cm tall and weigh around 43kg. My mum is 5″8. My dad is 5″11. My two grandads are both 5″10-5″11 and I’ve already passed both my grandmothers. I’m a size 7 in women‘s everything and a size 12-14 in kids clothing. I’m a shoe size women‘s 8 and I have long legs. 1.Am I going to be tall?
2.Or will I stop growing soon?
I’ve heard from a doctor that girls stop growing when underarm hair appears and I have like no underarm hair.

I also have some nutrition questions.
3. With food, is it important to eat a bit of everything on the food pyramid and alot of the things on the top three sections?
4. And what kinds of foods should I stay away from to avoid bloating?

5. Also what are some exercises that help tone up legs and give a flat stomach?

THANKS =] p.s ii numbered the questions so its easier for yo to answer

I’m dieting, why do people tempt me with food?

I’m a twenty five year old woman. I’m 1.67 metres tall and weight 59 kilo’s. I gained about five kilo’s over the last year and want to lose them. My clothes don’t fit me properly anymore.

I’m exercising and trying to eat well ( I normally have a lot of fried take out). I’m not using apetite suppressants or anything like that.

But now that I’m dieting, everyone is offering me food trying to get me to break my diet. Thankfully my husband is understanding. But today all the ladies at work kept on trying to tempt me. They even dished up a plate of goodies for me.

Why do people do this?

What is the name of this scary movie?

Penny, a young woman traumatized by a childhood auto accident that killed her parents, accompanies her therapist Orianna on a road trip to a mountain community as part of her therapy to overcome her fear of cars. On their way up a secluded road Orianna finds out that Penny is taking sleeping pills. This greatly disappoints Orianna as the pills only slow Penny’s recovery.

She explains this to Penny in frustration and fails to notice a hitchhiker standing on the side of the road. Orianna accidentally hits the hitchhiker and then offers the hitchhiker a ride to their destination, which happens to be an even more secluded location. The Hitchhiker remains completely silent during the drive with his hood pulled up to conceal his face. The only action the hitchhiker takes, besides silently offering them a skewer of raw meat, is checking out the bag in the backseat containing a book written by Orianna which then leads to Penny explaining the reason for their trip and her severe fear of cars.

Orianna and Penny drop off the hitchhiker in the middle of the road going through a camp which is closed for the season. The duo does not get too far, however, due to a flat tire caused by the Hitchhiker, who punctures the tire with one of the meat skewers. Orianna insists that Penny wait in the car while she goes to try to get reception on her phone and call for help-much to Penny’s disapproval as she knows the hitchhiker is waiting out there for them.

Orianna sets out for help but she doesn’t get far when she sees a bright light in front of her. Penny waits anxiously in the car; after half an hour she realizes something has gone wrong. She leaves the car and tries to locate Orianna. Penny finds a phone and tries to call for help, but the phone is disconnected. As she turns around she sees the hitchhiker behind her, and tries to run but falls and hits her head.

When Penny wakes up, she is sitting in the car again, with the video camera in her hands. She turns it on to find a video recently recorded. She watches the video in horror as she realizes that the hitchhiker taped the murder of Orianna. Penny starts to panic, and when she looks to her side she sees Orianna’s dead body in the seat next to her and realizes that she is trapped in the car between two tall, thick trees and there is no escape.

Penny tries to call for help, but the hitchhiker continues to terrorize and torture her. A man who works in the mountains tries to help, but is killed by the hitchhiker who is hiding under the car.

Penny is tortured for another few hours and when she tries to crawl out of the car window, the hitchhiker grabs her right foot and bites off one of her toes. Penny continues to take sleeping pills and painkillers to escape the madness. When she awakes for the last time, she turns around to find the hitchhiker (a wild-eyed scruffy woman) sitting in the back wearing Orianna’s clothes, who then tries to strangle her while saying, “Don’t forget your breathing exercises, Penny”. She manages to fight off the hitchhiker and escape from the car, only to trip from her injured foot. The hitchhiker finds her and tries to attack but a man driving a pick up truck drives past in time to hit the hitchhiker with his truck. The hitchhiker appears to be dead at this point and the truck driver is panicking. He tells Penny to wait in the car while he assists the hitchhiker. Penny feels a bit of relief as she watches the man and the dead hitchhiker. But terror boils up when she realizes the hitchhiker is still moving…

Is this a good workout plan?

Here’s my workout plan. I edited it from my previous questions.

1st week. Monday, Wednesday, Friday
Stretch for length of 1 song
25 sit ups
40 toe lifts
20 leg lifts per leg
Resistant tube arm work out -30
15 squats
25 sit ups
Resistant tube leg work out
Butt lifts length of 2 songs
Lunges 15 each side
Planks for 1 minute
10 lunges per leg
25 sit ups
walk for 30 minutes
1400 calorie diet

Tuesday & Thursday
Jog/walk for 30 minutes
1400 calorie diet

I am not only doing this because I want to lose weight, but I’m doing this so I can get in shape for basketball, which starts January 3rd, and we have to do 20 walls everyday and I don’t want to end up getting sick and stuff. But mostly because I want to get in shape again. I’m sick of being embarassed to wear my Aeropostale clothes because they are tighter and they show my love handles and stomach. And I want to have a nice butt and legs. I also want toned legs. I understand that the workout portion of it will mostly help me gain muscle, thats why I’m doing it. Anything I should add? Anything I should change? All help is welcome! Thanks! BTW i’m 13, I have no acess to a gym or to any weights or machinery of any kind. Thanks!

Wearing more clothes help you burn more calories/fat?

i was wondering if you wore a sheatshirt and sweatpants on a hot day to workout will you burn more calories or fat from just sweating or is it just water weight? i usually wear a tee shirt and capris to work out in but is it better to wear more clothes for a more rapid weight loss effect?? as long as you stay hydrated and dont over-work yourself (to the point of passing out) it should be fine right? will the water weight just come right back if i eat something after a workout or does it keep it off? any suggestions are helpful..thanks in advance

I need a new, empowering workout and eating suggestions?

I have always been an active person, I was a competitive gymnast for about eight years (now I do club in college) and played water polo for all of high school.

I am not overweight, but am in constant fear of putting on pounds because both my mom and my sister are overweight.

I have been insecure with my body for as long as I can remember. I was chubby as a kid until I stretched out a bit and made a conscious effort to lose 10 pounds when I was eleven years old. I’m very self conscious, I feel like gymnastics has left me with an incredibly awkward body shape. My stomach is poochy no matter how much I workout. I just feel like I am always frustrated with my weight and body. I get sick of being at the gym all the time and feeling guilty for feeling too full or eating cookies. I am always around people who eat whatever they want and have perfect bodies. It also doesn’t help that my mom tells me I have gained weight since college or that my clothes look tight. There is also a part of me that feels like I SHOULD be able to eat what I want. I am eighteen and in college, I should be able to eat pizza and drink with friends you know?

I guess what I would like is suggestions of empowering and different workouts and eating suggestions.

Sorry for the rambling and thanks in advance for any advice.

how to look like a 80′s 70′s person?

I dnt evn know what time period.
But I have leggens and headbands. But what else do I do? Neon? Workout clothes?
Haha. Yeh leggings:)
And thanks evry one. )

Should I be sore after every workout?

I’ve started a fairly regular weight-lifting regimen and the first two weeks, I was really sore after every workout, which let me know I was doing it right and lifting enough weight. But now, I’ve been doing the same exercises with essentially the same amount of weight (I’ve added five or ten pounds here and there), but I don’t feel sore after workouts. I am really trying to build muscle and lose the fat and I’ve definitely made progress (based on how my clothes fit and how I look in the mirror), but how do I break the ‘plateau’ I seem to be stuck on? I’m not training for any sort of fitness competition, but I’m trying to get that sort of a look. Any tips?

advice on exercise for losing weight with a balanced diet?

I am under treatment for thyroide problem which with out 100 ml of thyroxine per day would mean I put on dramatic weight. I have just had my thyroide test done and it came back ok. But I have put weight on and am strugling to lose it.

I am on a diet by the doctor of 1200 cal per day no starch ie, bread, cakes sugar etc. But althought I do not meet my target of 1200 per day I am strugling. I exercise with my job I am an amitor Jockey and walk a lot with my job and my dogs. I have just invested in a peddle bike I dont mind building muscle up but I want to lose the extra weight in fat. I also mesure me but my clothes are my best guide.

Are guys drawn to a girl who is consider unattractive physically?

I am just curious cause sometime I feel that even when I dress sloppy (hat, jean, sweat, etc) I get guys being nice to me but it seems more like maybe I have similar interest like them. I dress in my running 8k shirts, sailing, and most exercise clothes. I am more underweight but it also part of my metabolism. I just curious to understand if they are just drawn to me bc I act kind tomboy, am minority, or usually mind my own business but am a nice person when interacting with other.

Does anyone know what kind exercise to make a butt and legs smaller?

Before I got pregnant, I have a perfect body…. but after having 1st baby, My butt and my legs getting bigger and it’s not a propotional with my body. Now, I have a hard time to find clothes especially jeans, short, skirt, etc cause i still have a small hips and big butt and thighes. I cut down the junk foods already and I swim 3-4 times a week but it’s still doesn’t work. I can’t lose my weight. My weight is still the same or gain weight. Does anyone knows what kind of exercise to make them smaller? Now, I’m kind of depresing cause of them and my weight…. Please help anyone…..

How can I let my wife know I am not attracted to her anymore?

When I married her, she was attractive. We have been married 3 years now and she has just let her body go. She basically wears exercise clothes all the time because they stretch and don’t make her feel all the extra weight she has gained. I don’t even want to have sex with her anymore and most the time, I just beet off in private.

I need to describe this clothing line description better PLEASE HELP?

I am applying at FIDM and I have to do an entrance project. in one part i have to describe the clothing line i am pretend making. The category I chose was sports wear exercise. I have to include the age ( i am targeting young people ages 14-30), income ( middle class and higher), education ( high school and +), and lifestyle ( normal active lifestyle). I am not very good at writing so if someone could come up with a brief description of this type of clothing line it would be very helpful.

i feel dum but what do you wear to a rave?

like i said what do u wear

help: what to wear to a rave.?

kandy festival!
what do i wear?

What to wear to a rave (pic included)?

I’m going to EDC and Idk what to wear
what do you think would look good on me or what do you suggest judging by this picture…
http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2064/89/54/1061670315/n1061670315_30209624_5432.jpg (sry for bad angle, its the only full body pic i can find lol)

for example, should i wear lingerie or something less revealing? or a mini skirt, or just shorts? or a dress?
and what colors would look good on me?

thanks
-_- im serious
i said FOR EXAMPLE, since that seesm to be what most people wear.
im 18 and EDC’s the biggest cali rave of the year. www.electricdaisycarnival.com/la

What foundation should I wear to a rave?

For the most part, my skin doesn’t have many pimples..whats left is quite a bit of redness and scarring.
I have pretty oily skin and when I attend raves by the time its over i have little to no foundation left on my face because of all the heat and sweating and oil just …making it come right off.

So yeah, by the time its about half way through I look like a hot mess.
Does anyone know of any foundations I could use that could survive a rave and maybe where to buy it?

PLEEAASEEE let me know. WinterFresh is the beginning of December and i want to stay cute all night long (:

What kind of pajamas should you wear to a pajama rave?